Dear Emily, (9 months)

55112553-8F1A-4894-B049-A60CCCFF9F50You are crawling!!! Yay!! 25th September to be precise, so 9 months & 1 week. It’s funny mamma was worrying that you would never crawl but you seemed to do it around the average time. The first few weeks of you crawling you were quite sceptical of moving, you were very cautious (not anymore).

Now you’re crawling we’ve had to lower the cot down because you were pulling yourself up. Problem is mumma is so short I struggle to put you down in it. I think I might need to get a step, hopefully you won’t inherit mumma’s  short genes. Sleeping has regressed again, maybe it’s because you’re learning new things your brain can’t switch off. You are up every few hours, you’ve had a cold which has lasted a few weeks which doesn’t help. We always come up with an excuse of why you aren’t sleeping haha. You don’t even want to nap. Mamma stupidly thought you would have your nap and attempted to dye my hair, after about 15 minutes of starting applying it , you woke and screamed the house down. I was so torn of what to do. I ended up washing it out (I hadn’t even applied it all). I can’t tell you how stressed I was.

You still aren’t showing mamma much love. It was so funny at swimming, I passed you to the swim instructor as I got in the pool and you cuddled her and didn’t want to come back to me. Most babies are the opposite and don’t want to be passed to other people , but you really don’t care. Hopefully you’ll show me love soon.

You are really starting to get an amazing  personality. You aren’t afraid of anything, you even growl at dogs (family dogs not random) that come up to you in your face. You definitely show them who’s boss.

You know what ‘No’ is, but you weigh it up whether what you are doing is worth it. You are starting to understand what we mean when we are talking to you, you definitely understand cuddles. Still no words, only mumbling and bababa, but you’ll get there

Love you more than the world x

Advertisements

Mummy’s Diary Entry

Over the last few weeks, emily hasn’t been herself. Not sleeping, crying randomly. Turns out she’s got 3 new teeth coming through all at the same time. Problem is, you never know this until the worst has happened. Emily has always been a good sleeper, so I couldn’t really sympathise with mum’s who were up every night. Well now I can, and by god do I feel for you. Being sleep deprived makes you go a bit cray cray. Dan & I have such arguements in the night about the ‘right ‘ way of getting emily back to sleep. Dans way is bringing her into bed, mine is rocking her. Neither I am sure is right.

I keep second guessing myself, and worry I’m being to strict or not enough. I swear this stuff has got harder, I thought I had being a mum sussed. I’ve even thought maybe I should go back to work for a few days a week now to give us both a little break. It’s not because I don’t love Emily, because I love her more than life itself it’s just sometimes she seem’s happier with other people and that’s maybe because we are together 24/7. I feel so guilty writing this, as everyone keeps saying how they couldn’t stand to go back to work. Us mummies have to stop judging ourselves because we are all different and it doesn’t mean we love our children any less or more.

This month I went away for a few days (4) to Portugal which was lovely and gave me a little break. While I was away Dan had Emily for 3 days and Karen 1 day and apparently Emily was brilliant. I had a pang of jealousy because for me she had been a nightmare. How come? I honestly thought she hated me.

Then 3 days ago I had an aphifiny, it’s not Emily’s it’s me! When you have her every day and try and stick to such a strict regime, it’s no wonder she wants to rebel against it. So I’m trying a new approach, CHILL OUT! And almost overnight her attitude changed and she’s back to being my happy laughing little girl. It’s so hard to climb out of a hole you’ve dug yourself. I really do believe babies vibe of you, if you’re stressed then they are too. Now I’m not saying I’m going to be chilled every day, as that’s just crazy talk… but… if she is an hour late for her nap, or doesn’t want to eat all her lunch or wants a cuddle I’m just going to go with it (or try). It’s crazy how this shift in mindset has instantly made Emily and I feel calmer. Last night she even slept through again.

Now on to my body! My friend sent me this picture the other day… she wasn’t being rude, it was after a discussion where we were discussing a part of our body after having a baby and breastfeeding 😂.. I think the picture explains it better than words.

IMG_9608

Until next time x

Dear Emily, (7 months)

So by now I had this expectation that you would be crawling & talking. But …. You can barely roll bless you, but that’s ok cause you sleep and your happy. Seriously though, there has been a little development. You are sitting up really well, bouncing on your bum and you are rolling. It’s funny because now you’re rolling at night you roll on your front and I have a heartattack. I get up about twice in the night and turn you back over because I’m scared you can’t breath. (I don’t do this now).

Talking about sleep, you now go through until about 6am which is lovely. I think it’s because if it’s before 5am I just leave you to have a moan and so now you’ve got used to it.

At 7ish months mummy has stopped breastfeeding. When I started weaning you off at 6 months it was really emotional but by the end it was ok. I do miss it and maybe I gave up to soon, but I felt it was time. You are doing so well with food and you take formula, so you get all you need. Your still on the 75th percentile for weight and 91st percentile for height, so your doing ok.

We’re loving the doctors at the moment, so much so that I think the receptionists now recognise us. I think you have been to the doctors more in your life than I have in my 32 years. We have been for your lack of pooing, bum thrush, lump on your lower back, and your ears. That’s all this month! Your pooing or lack of is becoming a problem. I keep going back to the doctors but there not much help. The longest is 11 days, but on average you’ll go once a week and when you do it’s like pellets = Constipation. I have tried everything… Baby massage, prunes & prune juice purée, more water, special formula, apple & pear juice (from farm shop), bicycle legs etc etc but you just don’t want to poo. When you do you scream the house down, it’s so sad, mummy cries with you. It’s the most heart wrenching feeling watching your baby in pain.IMG_8802

Thats about it for this month. Not a lot to report, I’m thinking 8 months old is your month! Haha

love you lots

mummy

Dear Emily, (Weaning)

So mummy started giving you food at 6 months.

We started with lunch, and you would only do a couple of baby spoonful’s. I cooked singular foods and puréed them for a couple of weeks to find out what you liked. Your favourites were sweet potato, butternut squash, apples & pears. You’re weren’t a big fan of strawberries, cauliflower or broccoli to start with. It took about 30-40 minutes for you to take 2 spoonful’s. The first couple of weeks felt like you would never eat food. You would close your lips so tight and kept shaking your head, to say No.

 

Then overnight it changed and you started wanting the food. Surprise surprise though, you wanted to feed yourself. So I introduced breakfast. You are not a fan of baby porridge, you are much more of a Greek yogurt and fruit girl (now you like strawberries). Which doesn’t surprise me because when I was pregnant I craved fruit all the time. Then came dinner, and we started mixing up the flavours and combing food, Ella’s kitchen & Annabel Karmel books came in very handy. You will try lots of things now, the only thing your not a fan of is cauliflower cheese.

At 7 months I now mix it up at give you finger foods such as melon, sweet potato fries (homemade), pitta etc… You love feeding yourself. I was really nervous at first that you would choke and I had my baby first aid book out in case I had to quickly do First Aid. But turns out your gag reflexes are really good. (Fingers crossed this continues).

So your food routine now looks a bit like this….

6am 7oz bottle

7am Breakfast

10.30am 7oz bottle

12.30 Lunch

3pm 7oz bottle

5pm Dinner

I have no idea if what I am doing is right, but it seems to work for us. I know what you’re thinking, how does mummy fit all this in!  Daddy thinks all I do is go out for lunch and coffee all the time… Well this on top of your naps and it’s actually very tough. I also started off making all your food, after about a month I succumbed to Ella (I only use the pouches sometimes) Ella’s kitchen pouches are 100% food, unlike the others. You read the back of them and they contain things I’ve never heard of. That being said in order for Ella’s kitchen not to contain the other stuff it must be cooked at a really high temperature which takes away some of the goodness. But… pouches are sometimes so much easier .

You hate water, I’ve tried it in your bottle and I’ve bought about 100 cups but you are not a fan. You do have the odd day when you’ll drink it, and I throw a party and get so excited thinking I’ve cracked it. Little does mummy know you’re luring me into a false pretence. Haha.

I do wonder what you’re like with food when you read this. Will you still eat everything or will you become more fussy? Time will tell my little one.

Love you

mummy x

Dear Emily, (your first holiday)

First Holiday : 5 months Old (For 3 and a bit Weeks to US.)

So your first time on a plane and you fly upper class to New York!!! Daddy had airmiles so we thought why not, don’t get used to that though because by the time you read this we will probably be poor because mummy keeps buying too much stuff and daddy is threatening divorce (only playing).

On the flight we were expecting the worst, I had two bags of toys, a wrap carrier thing, bottles and I even brought dummies just incase. But you were amazing!! You were quite happy just chilling watching movies. We fed you on the way up and down, but the pressure didn’t seem to bother you. You even adapted to the time zone difference… I mean, how? I actually got a little concerned you were being too good and something was wrong. Your car seat was a god send, because otherwise getting taxi’s would have been a nightmare. We took you strolling around New York and we showed you were mummy & daddy got engaged. You even travelled on the subway. Getting around isn’t as easy as it used to be, but we managed. We took you out for dinners and made sure we got you back home at a resonanble time.

Then we flew from New York to Florida and the fun began. You were not happy, and we were trying our best to entertain you. I overheard a lady in front saying she gives her kids benedril before a flight! Why does everyone have an opinion and feel the need to express it??!!! Especially strangers!! Anyways we arrived in Florida, Daddy lost mummy’s wallet on the plane and so we didn’t get off to the best of starts, needless to stay mummy was very angry. Unfortunately you and me seem to be moody at the same time.

Florida was amazing, your auntie & uncle loved you very much but I was overwhelmed with how much your cousins love you. Channon & Naomi were fighting over who could cuddle and give you your bottle, you’re a very loved little girl. The heat in Florida was a bit of a worry for me, as it was in the 30’s. On really hot nights you just slept in a rest. Also on holiday, I seemed to forget time… this meant all of a sudden I would look at the time and think, god I need to feed you or change your nappy and then id get in a faff… I know what your thinking, mummy, faff, never! haha….

IMG_7627.JPG

Then the time came for mummy & daddy to go to Nashville. WITHOUT YOU 😬 We went for 3 nights, and I was wracked in guilt for leaving you. Although we were having an amazing time, I did say to your dad shall we go home a day early to see you. He wasn’t having any of it, and actually got a bit upset with mummy as I should have just relaxed. I think when you’re a mummy relaxing, is actually a tough job. You didn’t care, you were having a brilliant time. You even covered auntie claire in a gigantic projectile poo 😂 When we got back, you sat up on your own!! Wow, I got so excited. Little did I know you did it in the 3 days I was away from you. Why does that always seem to happen.

 

We then went down to Key West, it was such a long drive for you but your lovely cousins sat in the back with you and we’re keeping you entertained. This is when we found your love for finding nemo. When we got back to Florida, you went to all the parks and went on some rides. Your favourite was the new avatar ride, as its sensory overload it was brilliant seeing your little eyes light up.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had a very different holiday, than we used to have. But you were so chilled on holiday. I couldn’t have wished for a more well behaved baby. I hope it continues, but we will see. Isn’t it good baby naughty toddler? 😬

Love Mummy x

Few Items that we found useful (not including bottles, nappies etc) ….

– Car Seat (wrap in bubble wrap and buy a check in bag, £10 from Amazon)

– Stroller (that your not fussed about. We bought a silvercross zest.)

– Sleepyhead (god send, emily’s home away from home, we just put it in the travel cot)

Dear Emily, (Your first tooth)

For the last 2 months whenever you grizzled I would say ‘oh she’s teething’, I find a lot of mums do exactly the same. However when you were actually teething, I just thought… ‘what is wrong with you?’ People felt inside your mouth and went owwww her gums are hard, i’d feel and go ‘oh yeah’! But really I didn’t have a clue what I was feeling.

Your first tooth (front, bottom right) poked through on Thursday 11th May and it’s super sharp. You’ve actually marked me, because you won’t chew teething rings, only mummy’s finger will do, or mummy’s nipple. A friend recently sent me this picture…

IMG_8059

And it’s soooo true!!!

Back to when I first found out about your first tooth… I was at a work do and someone pointed it out and said oh her first tooth is through, what a bad mum I hadn’t even noticed. It did explain a lot though. Your dad had been working away for over a week and you were driving me crazy!! Crying all the time, and I had no idea what was wrong. That drive home from Guildford after my work do (it was during the day) was the hardest drive I’ve ever had in my life! You literally screamed the car down, I stopped 3 times to try and calm you down but every time I put you back in the car you screamed again. I rang your dad just to share my pain, he couldn’t hear me over your screaming.

Your second tooth (front bottom left) came through about a week later, and was no where near as bad as the first (thank god). I think (hope) the worst is over.

Famous last words 😬

Love mummy x

 

 

 

Dear Emily, (4 months)

IMG_7428

4 months already, where has that time gone? When you were first born, everyone said cherish this time because it goes so quick. I thought phah, yeah right every day feels like a lifetime, but after you turned 2 months the last 2 months have literally flown by. You now have all your features and a little personality, you are definitely not a newborn anymore.

Now on to your sleep, literally on the day you turned 4 months you thought, I’ve been giving mummy an easy ride soooo I’m going to decide to not take my naps during the day and wake up at 3am. Just as I thought I had this sleep stuff sussed. Every day and night is different nowadays. I used to be able to take you to morning classes, but now I only know if I can go based on your nights sleep and morning nap. If you are asleep, mummy ain’t going anywhere because you scream at me if I wake you. I did it once and never again! You are not transportable. I know that people say Im making a rod for my own back, but there not the ones who have paced the halls for 20 minutes getting you to sleep 😂

Development wise you did roll this month, well kind of! You rolled on my soft bed so I don’t think it counts and you haven’t done it since. You are not interested, you literally lie flat like a pancake, I think it will be a little while until you role. Your stomach muscles are getting good, you can now sit up but not unaided yet. I look at everything you should be doing and then start to panic because your not doing it, I need to let go and realise all babies are different otherwise ill drive myself crazy.

Talking about crazy the weather is finally getting nice. But with hot weather comes the dilemma of what to dress you in during the day & night? Plus are you meant to wear suntan lotion, stay covered up? What?

Daddy left us for 9 days and nights because he was working at Chelsea Flower  Show. The first 5 days were fine but by day 6 I was literally climbing the walls.  I love spending time with you, but when daddy gets home it’s nice to have a little relief because he will take you. I have new found love and appreciation for single mums, doing this on your own must be so tough. You were not your normal self and were so upset all the time (turns out you were teething, but I’ll save that for another post). It’s funny, I’m a really social person but during this time I didn’t want to see anyone. I cried a few times and had a couple of glasses of prosecco once you’d gone to bed. I felt like a walking zombie. Why is it we only realise afterwards and don’t talk about it when it’s happening? I hope that if you ever feel down or upset you can always talk to me.

Next Step – Nurseries…. I have had a look round a couple and I think I am being a bit over the top because I am not 100% with any nursery, which is stupid because they’re brilliant nurseries. I even cried! (what a loser mummy is) Perhaps we will investigate the childminder route?

xxx

 

Useful Purchases in our First 3 Months!

My new favourite hobby is shopping. I had a problem before, but now even my neighbour has commented on how many parcels I get delivered 😬 For all you new mums out there, here are some items that were useful for us. All babies are different, so what works for some, may not work for others. By no means am I an expert and I’d love to hear what worked & didn’t for you.

Sleeping

We started off with a Moses basket but Emily was having none of it! Dan didn’t want me to buy a sleepyhead as he said it was too much money. Funny, when you get no sleep you are willing to pay anything for a nights sleep. So after 3 nights of no sleep, he caved and told me to order it and try it. For the first week the sleepyhead was in our bed. Then we decided it was time for a crib. The Chico next to me was expensive but made me feel at ease knowing I could see her. At first we attached it to the bed. At 9 weeks I was ready to put the sides up. Sleeping Bags are also a god send! Emily didn’t go into hers until about 4 weeks, but you can buy newborn ones which are smaller from JoJo Maman Bebe.

Chicco Crib Next To Me – £169 from John Lewis.

Sleepy Head – £120 from John Lewis

Sleeping Bags (recommend buying 2) – £15 Mamas & Papas

Monitor – £114.99 Motorola Video Camera from Argos

Ewen the Sheep – £29.99 Amazon Prime (Now this didn’t work for us, but really worked for a few friends).

Night Light – £13.99 Amazon Prime (Good for Night feeds)

Feeding

The pain when you first start breastfeeding is tough! It’s not as easy as NCT make out so be prepared. At about 8 weeks the pain stoped for me and it became a litter easier. Right from the start, I expressed and Emily had 1 expressed bottle a night. It made me feel more comfortable knowing how much she had. Plus it’s really nice to get Dan involved. At about 10 weeks we introduced a formula feed at night time as it seems to fill her up more which means more sleep for me! 😀👍🏻

Lanolin – £10 Any pharmacy/supermarket. This cream really does help soothe your nipples. Everyone I have spoken to found it useful.

Munchkin Latch Bottles – £14.95 Amazon Prime  ( We started with Teat 2, as Teat 1 was too slow) Great bottles for breast fed babies. Emily wouldn’t take tommee tippee which are a much cheaper alternative.

Sterilising Bags – £10 Amazon Prime (when you only need to do 1 bottle a night , this option is way quicker)

Medala Pump – £99.99 Amazon Prime (you can also get a double pump which is quicker)

Perfect Prep Machine – £59.99 Amazon Prime (only needed for formula)

Storage Bags – for milk

Breast Feeding Pads – Any pharmacy/supermarket

Rocking Feeding Chair – ? I borrowed this from a friend.

Washing & Changing

First few weeks we just used cotton wool and water.We started bathing Emily twice a week after a few weeks. Then about 8 weeks everynight, but more so for the routine. We didn’t use any products until about 10 weeks and now we use them every other bath. Things like clothes (you’ll want newborn & 0-3 months), nail scissors, change mat, Nappy bags, sudacrem, cotton wool balls etc are standard.

Pampers Premium Protection – I tried Tesco, Aldi & Sainsburys and pampers were the best for me.

Yippie Toes Bath – £13.99 Amazon prime It still took me 8 weeks to let go of her.

Water Wipes – £17 Amazon Prime (buy in bulk.)

Childs Farm Sensitive Baby Wash – £3.99 Any supermarket or Pharmacy (Apparently Johnson & Johnson shouldn’t be used on newborns because it has chemicals in??)

Tommee Tippee Bath Thermometer – £9.99 Amazon Prime (I didn’t buy one until recently, & everytime I bathed her I worried the tempreture wasn’t right. This just eases my mind. It also shows room tempreture.)

Non Bio washing powder & Comfort Pure fabric softener .

Grape Seed Oil – £5.99 Holland & Barrett. Great for baby massage & dry skin .

Dentinox (For cradle cap) – This was recommended to me, but I’m yet to find someone who sticks it. I’ve tried everywhere.

Change Bag – £65 Jojo Maman Bebe. Get a back pack one , sooo much easier.

Braun Thermoscan 7 – £38.99 Amazon Prime

Toys / Development

First 8 Weeks they don’t do much and we really let Emily do as she wished. By 8 weeks Emily really started enjoying the toys people had bought her. In hindsight I would have done more tummy time early on as we struggled with it to start with.

Tummy Time Roller – £14.99 mothercare (OMG – Amazing! Really helps neck & chest strength. Tummy time is much more enjoyable.)

Soft Toy & Rattle – £7.27 Amazon Prime

Playmat – we got given this, but I recommend one that goes in a triangle at the top.

Wrist & Feet Rattles – £12.99 Amazon Prime

Sensory Light – (Present)

Bouncing Chair – Mamas & Papas

Baby Mobile – We didn’t get one because I was scared of it being over her. Big mistake! I’m getting one this week. Get one that can hooks on car seat and play Matt.

Baby Sparks App – £22 for the year (gives you development information & activities to do every day)

Other

Car Seat – £ Isofix , Maxicosi  (From a family member)

Mirror for car (Present)

Pram – £450 Bugaboo (2nd hand, from Facebook sight. However it was a friend of a friend, so we knew it was in good condition)

I’m sure as soon as I post this I’ll think of other stuff, but for now I hope this helps new mums X

Dear Emily, (4-8 Weeks)

To be honest not a lot really happens during this time. I thought by now , I’d be back doing exercise and you’d be taking interest in stuff… Yeah right, you don’t even like being put down. All these toys are wasted on you, as you’re just not interested in anything other than cuddles. You are really clever though as you know exactly when mummy & daddy are eating because you wake up and want food too. And forget a feeding routine, you’re the boss in this household and what you want goes!

We are however trying to get you in a sleep routine, because humans can’t live on 2hrs sleep. At about 5 weeks you were ready for a sleeping bag , which is by far the best thing we have bought. Since being in it you sleep from 11-3, 4-7am. It also helps that I express about 140ml of milk, which knocks you out. Although I quickly learnt not to be smug about anything because nothing lasts. For about 3 weeks I thought mummy was in charge – but don’t worry you soon put me in my place!

The only thing Mummy is in charge of is worrying. On journeys over 20 minutes I’m a bit of a worrier, I end up pulling over and check you’re still breathing. Never thought I’d worry about things like that. I can’t even bath you on my own (you love baths by the way) as it’s tricky to splash water and hold you.  Turns out I’m also a bit emotional when it comes to you. I went out for the first time at 6 weeks and left you with grandma, and I actually cried! I was only gone 3 hours. I would have royally taken the mickey out of one of my friends for doing that.

We had your 6 week check up! Who knew that you had criteria you had to pass?? Apparently you’re meant to smile, follow things and have a stronger neck. You failed all of the above, & to top it off you have a big head!? So we are being referred to Worthing hospital. The same week you puked up blood, I’ve never been so authoritative with a doctors receptionist. Turns out it’s common and was your stomach lining, it went the same day with some medicine.

Until next time x

 

 

Aftermath of Birth

So your pregnant for 9 months (or there about), go through labour and have a new born to content with. On top of all of this, your body feels like you have gone 10 rounds with Tyson Fury.

There were things that I was excited about …(I’m 10 weeks on and still no chance)

  • Sleeping on my front. – unfortunately my boobs had other ideas.
  • Getting out of bed without rolling sideways.- I can’t even get off the floor without help.
  • Loosing weight and getting my stomach back. –  You guessed it no chance!!!

I think I had unrealistic expectations.

To top it all off, 5 weeks after giving birth I suffered a prolapse. The midwife says ‘are you doing your pelvic floor?’ you smile and say yeah of course, do it once and then forget.. I had been on a long walk in Brighton and all of a sudden I felt a drop down below…. The reason why I am writing this, is because when it happened I felt so alone, I had never heard of anyone else this had happened to. I put off going to the doctors for nearly a week, because I was scared and embarrassed. No one talks about the downstairs area, and yet the poor bugger goes through a hell of a lot it deserves to be spoken about. People ask you how you’re recovering and you just smile and say yeah fine. No one expects you to say, ‘oh yeah actually my vagina fell out’. When I first found out, I of course googled it and oh my god I needed a hysterectomy! Google is not my friend when it comes to medical conditions. I won’t get into detail, but if this happens to you and you want to talk, do contact me. With exercises you can reverse the prolapse, so don’t leave it too long before seeking help.

Its hard to know if you are doing your pelvic floor exercises right, so here is what I got from the doctors.IMG_6438.JPG