Dear Emily, (14-15 Weeks)

IMG_6724.JPGI’m writing these over a month in arrears, and as I read my notes I think wow, I had it relatively easy… A lot has changed Emzy, you are definitely giving mummy a run for her money now (at nearly 5 months).  But in the essense of keeping to the time frames in the title , I’ll take you back in time….

You did a full nights sleep, yay!!!! If only mummy had a full nights sleep to, I kept checking you were still breathing. I thought the anxiousness would have gone away  now, but oh no it’s still there . You’ve also started going down for naps now in your crib. It takes me 20 minutes of pacing before I can put you down, and when I do I literally drop to the floor army style and crawl out of the room. You generally wake up and cry straight away, I leave you for 5 minutes (as it’s a tired cry, not a scream) and stare at the monitor and timer generally you have stopped by 5 minutes and you conk out. Your such a content little girl, quite happy to just lie on your Matt.

This works well when we’re at home, but routine and contentment went out the window when we went away to oxford for mummy’s birthday. Mummy’s money also went out the window because oxford is near Bicester village 😬 I don’t know why I bought you so much Ralph Lauren because I know you’ll grow out of it in a few months, I’m justifying my purchases and hoping you’ll have a sister who can have all your hand me downs.

Back to oxford – We went out for dinner and guess what happened? You started crying as soon as the food came out. Dad and I took it in turns to pace with you (as this seems to be the only thing that calms you down) but you weren’t having any of it. There was a family next to us, and the father of this family kept giving me evils and tutting. It’s funny because I’m not the type of person to let someone get away with that, but I did, and I felt really embarrassed and wanted to get the hell out of there. It wasn’t even a posh place, it was a burger bar! Your dad doesn’t understand why I care and either do I really, but when you cry in public I feel myself going red and start feeling really anxious and people like that stupid man really doesn’t help!

This is a pretty short entry because In terms of development nothing has really happened the last few weeks.

Until next time when things get a little more interesting x



Dear Emily, (12 & 13 Weeks)

13 weeks & still loving your bouncer chair 😍

So you’re 12 weeks now, time we start to put you to bed rather than waiting up with mummy & daddy. We have started your routine which consists of:

6.30pm – Bath (We use child’s farm bath & shampoo every other night, & just water the other night)

7pm – Formula bottle (Aptimal 1, Munckin Latch bottle) I’m still breastfeeding you, but I’ve heard such good things about formula filling babies up I thought I’d try it. You still take about 40minutes- 1hour to do your bottle 😬

8pm/8.30pm – Up to your crib (You’re still in our room). We use our Motorola monitor which has a video, you are mummy & daddy’s entertainment as we just watch you haha 😂

You are now sleeping until about 4-5am.

Now I wouldn’t have thought of doing this without the help from my NCT ladies. I cannot stress how important it is to have other mummies going through what you are at the same time. It’s amazing how quickly you forget things. It’s so hard to know if what you are doing is right. I’ve learnt there is no right or wrong, it’s whatever works for you & this routine works for us.

On another note swimming is going really well. You are now going under water, you have a little cry but you love swimming. Your head is getting stronger and you are also becoming so much more alert. Your laugh is so big now, it makes mummy want to cry with happiness.

Talking about mummy’s happiness, I went on a night out to London and had a few drinks (7 to be precise) whilst grandma looked after you. I was a nervous wreck, my anxiety is starting to kick in, I’ve been nervous about leaving you for about 2 weeks. It’s not that I don’t trust other people, I just can’t help but worry. I think mum worry is a condition!? Anyway I went and had a great time. I’m still breastfeeding you, so I took my electric breast pump and expressed in the Waldorf toilet. I wasn’t wearing a feeding top so I ended up being half naked in the toilet. The pump makes such a loud errrr errrr errr sound, people must have thought – what the hell?! But needs must. Apparently when you have a drink it takes 1-2 hours per unit to clear from your system. So I had to wait about 12 hours before I could feed you next, luckily I expressed lots in advance. For the first time Daddy did the early morning feed! Result!!!

Now enough about mummy, back on to you. You might remember me telling you about your big head circumferences  and us being referred to Worthing hospital? Well turns out it’s hereditary (mummy has a mentally big head, but we will blame that one on daddy) and the doctor said it’s nothing to worry about. Oh my little one, you have come so far since your days on the special care unit. At 13 weeks you are now a healthy weight of 13lbs1oz and 61cm in height. I couldn’t be more proud!

All my love



Dear Emily, (8-12 Weeks)

0D1DFA9A-4C67-43DE-8470-F7B9B17F2245.jpgHorray!!! I can finally put you down for 15-20 minutes. I love you more than the world, but it feels so good that I can put you on the play mat without  you crying. You also now love the vibrating chair you have. Bad mum alert! You love being put infront of the TV, I think it’s the bright colours but you find it mezmerising. Before I was a mum I swore that I wouldn’t let you watch TV & here I am 8 weeks in putting your chair infront of it. Ekkkk 😬

Now you might remember I told you about only taking milk from the right boob? Well mummy got that sorted. We went to a craniosacral therapist, and he fixed you. When you came out of mummy, you had your arm up by your head, apparently you had dislodged the opposite shoulder and had a pulled muscle??? It’s all sorted and now mummy has two droopy boobies rather than one. (Well at least there even now) Talking about feeding…. At 10 weeks we decided to give you a formula bottle at night. I’ve heard so many others talking about formula knocking their baby out, I thought I want some of that. True to its word, it does. Since having it you sleep a good 6 hours!! Result!!! 👍🏻

I do think formula has affected your poo though. You now have explosive poos. We were in Guildford, and you had the biggest poo. So I went to house of Fraser to change you. OMG! It was everywhere!! Stupid mummy forgot to bring other clothes, so I had to try and wash your clothes and I had to put them back on you. I ended up going straight home. Note to self, always pack spare clothes.

Although that outing wasn’t great, generally you are much happier out and about. Everyone comments how chilled you are! Why aren’t you like that at home? It’s like you put on a little show for everyone. We are out so much though, to be honest that’s fine with me. We just signed up to busy lizzy in Horsham. We do baby massage & baby karma. Mummy tried mummy & me Pilates but you were having none of it, it wasn’t enjoyable having a screaming  baby for an hour. So we will try that in a month. You also stated swimming at 10 weeks, you love the water. I was never a strong swimmer, and it’s really important to me that you are. We do keep busy, plus we go to lunch or coffee at least 3 times a week with friends. Daddy says we do too much but it helps my sanity, and you like it so why not. Now don’t get me wrong, when we have a day of nothing we lie in mummy’s bed until about 11!

I love our little life, I’m not even fussed about going out and drinking (yes I love you that much). But it’s not always peachy! When you scream for hours (generally between 5-7pm) I literally want to cry. I shouted ‘SHUT UP’ the other day and I felt so guilty afterwards, I didn’t want to put you to bed because I wanted you to know how much I loved you. Speaking to friends apparently it happens to them too, which is nice to know I’m not the only one.

You are changing so much already, slow down please xxxx


Dear Emily,


Well your first month has been a learning curve. First of all I have no idea how people with 2+ children do it! You don’t give me longer than 3 minutes to shower or even have a poo! This is my excuse for having hairerier legs than your dad. You will not be put down, you love cuddles too much, but as your so cute I’ll let you off. I tried putting you in a sling but that didn’t work, your head is too floppy. Although, when you do sleep longer than 5 minutes I panic, check you are breathing and wake you up. This also applies at night time too, your first week at home me and your dad did 2 hour shifts watching Vikings on amazon prime on our tablet. I also bought a lot of things we probably don’t need. Then my grandma reminded me that I will be doing it all on my own soon and would need to get you to sleep. Easier said than done! The next few weeks I was like a walking zombie, and living on about 3 hours of sleep, whoever says sleep when your baby sleeps obviously doesn’t know you.

Now feeding you is another topic! NCT, make out that breastfeeding is easy, not painful and the most natural thing in the world. Sooo not true! Most people I have spoken to have had some kind of problem. Sore nipples, the baby not latching, not enough milk just to name a few. A lot of people have had to top up with formula, this is not uncommon. The worse thing is mums feel like they are a let down if for some reason they can’t breast feed their child, and they shouldn’t feel this way. In my experience around 70% of people I know had to top up with formula or stop feeding by 2 months because it was just too painful. We haven’t had it too bad, although your weight in your first month wasn’t going up as much as the health visitor wanted. I was told to try and feed you on demand, I never knew how daunting getting you weighed is. You do have a little quirk, you only like mummy’s right boob??? Whys that – not a clue! So I express from the left, so your dad can do a couple of feeds. My biggest pain is that I can’t drink as much prosecco as I would like (whoops bad mum alert haha), if I time it right I can sneak the odd glass.  Feeding you in public is something we are just not good at,  you swing your head and my boobs are so big  at the mo I have to lift them up to help you out and prevent suffocation. All that going on under a breastfeeding sheet is not easy. Between us we don’t make it work, so I try and feed you before we go out, so much easier.

Question – How to people buy parking tickets? I get you ready before I buy the ticket because I don’t want to leave you in the car, but what happens when you have a brother or sister? Also the amount of times I’ve left loads of space to get your seat out and then some idiot goes and parks so close to my car I can’t get your seat in. Car parking spaces are too small. I really don’t need this stress on top of a complicated buggy haha. Well it’s not complicated, I just have ridiculous baby brain. It seems every time I take the pram out I have an issue or forgotten how to do something. First time taking you out, it took me 40 minutes to take it down and put in the car. Things are a little scarier without daddy around, but now I have done it a few times I am getting the hang of it and more confident.

You have been such a lucky girl, you have been given soooo many presents and had lots of visitors.

To be honest their aren’t many milestones in your first month, you don’t really do much apart from sleep (only on us), poo, wee and eat. Mummy on the other hand has been really productive and I am nearly on season 3 of Gilmore girls on Netflix!