Dear Emily, (4 months)

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4 months already, where has that time gone? When you were first born, everyone said cherish this time because it goes so quick. I thought phah, yeah right every day feels like a lifetime, but after you turned 2 months the last 2 months have literally flown by. You now have all your features and a little personality, you are definitely not a newborn anymore.

Now on to your sleep, literally on the day you turned 4 months you thought, I’ve been giving mummy an easy ride soooo I’m going to decide to not take my naps during the day and wake up at 3am. Just as I thought I had this sleep stuff sussed. Every day and night is different nowadays. I used to be able to take you to morning classes, but now I only know if I can go based on your nights sleep and morning nap. If you are asleep, mummy ain’t going anywhere because you scream at me if I wake you. I did it once and never again! You are not transportable. I know that people say Im making a rod for my own back, but there not the ones who have paced the halls for 20 minutes getting you to sleep 😂

Development wise you did roll this month, well kind of! You rolled on my soft bed so I don’t think it counts and you haven’t done it since. You are not interested, you literally lie flat like a pancake, I think it will be a little while until you role. Your stomach muscles are getting good, you can now sit up but not unaided yet. I look at everything you should be doing and then start to panic because your not doing it, I need to let go and realise all babies are different otherwise ill drive myself crazy.

Talking about crazy the weather is finally getting nice. But with hot weather comes the dilemma of what to dress you in during the day & night? Plus are you meant to wear suntan lotion, stay covered up? What?

Daddy left us for 9 days and nights because he was working at Chelsea Flower  Show. The first 5 days were fine but by day 6 I was literally climbing the walls.  I love spending time with you, but when daddy gets home it’s nice to have a little relief because he will take you. I have new found love and appreciation for single mums, doing this on your own must be so tough. You were not your normal self and were so upset all the time (turns out you were teething, but I’ll save that for another post). It’s funny, I’m a really social person but during this time I didn’t want to see anyone. I cried a few times and had a couple of glasses of prosecco once you’d gone to bed. I felt like a walking zombie. Why is it we only realise afterwards and don’t talk about it when it’s happening? I hope that if you ever feel down or upset you can always talk to me.

Next Step – Nurseries…. I have had a look round a couple and I think I am being a bit over the top because I am not 100% with any nursery, which is stupid because they’re brilliant nurseries. I even cried! (what a loser mummy is) Perhaps we will investigate the childminder route?

xxx

 

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