Dear Emily, (15 months)

Hello little miss pro walker! Literally I blinked and you went from stumbling around the place and me having a heartattack every time you went near a table edge to strutting your stuff! Although I’m very proud, I kinda understand now what people were warning me about. You’re EVERYWHERE!

We went to St Ives & whilst Daddy had fun watching Crystal Palace on TV in the pub, mummy was walking up a down the pub stairs with you and running after you around the pub. Don’t worry though mummy had a few prosecco’s to get her through.

Talking about going away, we also went to Bath this month. We decided hotel rooms aren’t really for us because when we’re in the same room, we have to go to bed at 7.30pm which isn’t too much fun. So we rent an apartment now, so we have a living room, works out similar price if not cheaper. Win win! Means mummy & daddy can have some chill time whilst you sleep.

Getting back to you…. You are fab at opening & closing drawers, you are particularly good at getting all your clothes out your drawers. I don’t know how people can clean a house with a little one, as everything I clear up you just get back out. I swear you are quicker than the Flash, because I turn around and everything is out again!

Your biting isn’t getting any better. At nursery if I see a red slip (means I have to sign the accident book) in your pigeon hole my first words are ‘what has she done’ 9.9 times you’ve bitten someone. So nursery suggested giving you a time out. So when you bite I put you on the step by yourself. Trouble is you love the step and when I come to get you off you stick your tongue out and wave me away. Yeah not so much of a punishment. Turns out you like quiet time.


Until next time x





Dear Emily, (14 months)

You did it!!! You took your first steps, well 6 to be precise on the 25th February! I was so worried you would never walk, as every book I have read it says 10-12 months is normal. Well those books are rubbish because I know a lot of babies who walk between 12-16 months. So don’t worry Emsie, you aren’t behind 🙂 .

Your speech hasn’t got much better, you are still refusing to say Mama to me, you can say it but don’t understand, so at the moment your only words really are Dada and Ta. I’m not sure if that’s normal? I’m sure blah blah blah doesn’t count… You are starting to do some really funny things. You love dropping your food, and pursing your lips together and saying owwww… I have to turn the other way because i don’t want you seeing me laugh.

You’re such a little character that you no longer want to do what mummy tells you. Every time I try and change your nappy you are trying to get up, back arched and become possessed by the devil.  I never thought i would be this mum, but…. I resort to bribery. If I give you a biscuit 9 times out of 10 you will lie down and let me change your nappy. The other times I am chasing you around the house, thinking to myself – you little s*** . So if you are ever overweight because of your love of biscuits you can blame yourself for not being an angel child.

I am still feeding you with a spoon for anything other than finger foods. Apparently i should be starting to let you try and feed yourself now. Well mummy doesn’t want the mess, so we will look at gradually doing that… You are being fussy at the moment and i don’t want to introduce something that might hinder you eating less.

You are really starting to get into toys now, and love drawing. You even had a little play in the snow. I think it’s the first time you have seen snow, you weren’t very keen and I don’t blame you. It’s cold!

Mummy is still working full time, you don’t seem to care you love nursery but I feel like I am missing out on so much. You are starting to become a little girl now, and I am so sad that I don’t get to see you every day. Yeah you can be a stubborn madam, and wake up in the night and refuse to go back to sleep but you are a really cool little girl. I love your independence and confidence, you don’t care if mummy and daddy are there you are quite happy to adapt to your surroundings and go and play. You are generally calm but fiery when you don’t get your own way, and although it can drive me crazy sometimes i love it because i know you aren’t a pushover. You might look like Daddy, but you have the personality of Mummy.

I am few months behind writing these blogs as mummy was a little poorly, but you are what got me through my gorgeous girl. Until next time…

love mummy x

Working Mum Drama

So I’ve been back at work now for nearly 3 months and it’s all going well, kind of. I think the mum guilt is always there hovering in the background but it’s a lot easier now. I think time just makes it that way. Everything always seems worse than it actually is. That being said, being a full time working mum and have a 14 month old has it’s dramas!

Some of the dramas

  • Emily Waking up Before me. I generally try and get up at 5.45am, have a 5 minutes shower get dressed ready for her to wake up at 6am. But when she wakes up at 5.30am, a toddler can do a lot of damage in 5 minutes while you have a shower. Some words of advice, don’t leave toilet roll or the toilet brush in reach!
  • Poorly Child. This is where I am very lucky, as I have only been called in once, the day after emily had her 1st year injections. But some kids are poorly all the time, and poor parents having to stop work and pick them up.
  • Taking Random Holiday days to Spend Time with Emily. I had this lovely idea that the days I take off will be utterly appreciated by Emily. Nope! The days I have taken off, because I feel like a bad mum Emily decides to play up, I end up getting stressed and thinking why did I bother. I thought at 14 months she would appreciate the fact I have just used a days holiday.
  • Other Mums – “I just don’t know how you work full time” – Shut Up! I feel guilty enough, without all the judgement people. We all have to do what is right for us and our family. You never know other people’s circumstances, so no judging or condescending words please.
  • The Bad Nights Sleep – Emily is a good sleeper but there are nights when she thinks, I know lets piss mummy off and not sleep for 3 hours. Going to work with minimal sleep is horrendous. I am direct and grumpy enough, armed with no sleep = Don’t Talk to Me Colleagues, Just Walk the Other Way! Shame I work in sales ekkkk….  So now, I just go to sleep at 8.30pm in preparation.
  • Looking Like Shit – All the Time! – I am not a slim beauty, so without the time to put on make up and wash my hair, I look rubbish all the time. When I do put on make up, and curl my hair I feel like a different person, but I don’t have time to do that on a daily basis. I mean I am lucky if I have time for a poo in the mornings and wash my hair twice a week.  If Emily gets food on me, I don’t even change, I just wipe it off. Then I see some of my stunning mum friends on FB or Insta looking amazing and I think oh my god, what am I doing wrong?
  • Nursery Fees – Luckily Emily is only in Nursery 3 times a week, but that’s still £800 a month. I think I have succumbed to the fact that I will never have money again, as it’s just going to get worse when more babies come along.
  • I am Always Late – I have to drop Emily off in the morning, and I am always 5 minutes late to work, I do always make up the time, but I used to turn up at least 30 minutes early. No one ever says anything, but I know I would have judged prior to having Emily.

It would be great to hear other peoples working dramas?

Being a working mum comes with it dramas. The biggest is not spending time with my beautiful daughter, but it is what it is and it works for us at the moment. It’s tough trying to juggle everything, but then so is being a full time mum. I don’t think any mum has it easy.




Dear Emily (13 months)

This month we had the dreaded 1 year injections!!! All the injections before have been fine, but these ones were something else. The first few days after were fine but then you got a high temperature and got sent home from nursery. 9-10 days after you came out in a rash. It was all over your front and back. I rang 111 and they wanted you to see an out of hours doctor, so we waited around all day just to find out it was due to the injections. I don’t know why I bothered, I knew you were ok, but you will realise when you have a child you always air on the side of caution.

Development wise, you did your first step 5th Feb. But that’s all it was, A STEP. Nothing since. I really think you’re just lazy, and can’t be bothered. You climb upstairs, you stand up but you’re just not interested in walking. You even know how to safely get off the sofa.

You are continually saying dada, you even pointed to a picture of dada and said it. Whereas you don’t care about the word mama. I try all the time, and you reply with dada. You babble all the time, waving your arms around you’re so expressive it makes me chuckle.

Mama and dada should have done it before, but you now hold your own bottle in the morning & night. In the morning you lay on your bean bag whilst watching CBeebies while mummy makes her breakfast. At night you hold your bottle while mama reads you a story. You’ve really started to get into books.

Sleeping is much the same, you go down well but you’re now a fan of waking up at 5-5.30am. Not sure why? Or how I get you to sleep in, but mama is very tired. You now only have 1 nap around 11-1pm and this seems to work for you.

You’re starting to get a bit aggy at nursery. This month you’ve got in 2 fights and bitten 3 people at Nursery. You don’t mean it, apparently you get over excited. It’s so embarrassing though, because one of the babies you bit was your friend and mummy is friends with her mummy. I need to work out how to stop you biting, but I don’t know how?

I think next month we should get you using a spoon on your own….. it’s so hard knowing when and what to do, but I think we’re a little behind on this development stepping stone.



Mummy is Back at Work!!!

So the tears have finally come. I thought I was all cool and then bloody Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’ comes on the radio and I’m literally talking to myself whilst hyperventilating. How does music do that??!! When my friends went back to work, and they said they were all emotional I remember thinking.. Really???! But it’s almost like a big wave of guilt comes crashing down on you that you will only experience once it happens to you.


When I thought about going back to work, I thought I’m going to make a real effort in my appearance so I don’t look so awful. But who has time for that! I wake up at 6am, and generally have about 15 minutes to have a shower and get ready before Emily screams ‘I’m awake’ (Not literally as she can’t talk, but you get my drift). So there is me trying to put on mascara whilst keeping one eye on Emily making sure she doesn’t fall off the bed and the other on the mirror. How do mums have their shit together and look so good!! I seriously need a lesson and would love to hear how other mums do it… So please fellow mums, how do you look so good? And those mums that say they have time for the gym to.. I need to seriously improve my organisational skills. I must also add that Dan (my husband) leaves for work at 6am, so I am a lone ranger in the mornings.

The Nursery drop off isn’t too bad, Emily makes no fuss and actually can’t wait to get away from me. For those mums out there, who have crying babies when you drop them off, I get it that it’s probably harder for you but at least you know your child loves you. Emily reaches out to give Maddie & Kim (her key workers) a great big hug, then waves me goodbye. WTF, I carried you for 9 months and looked after you non stop for a year, I would like a little appreciation.

I suppose her being like that, does help the mum guilt as I know that she is happy and having fun. It’s also really nice to eat my lunch and have a wee in peace. I think you take the little things like that for granted. I do have some fantastic clients who keep me busy so doesn’t give me a lot of time to worry too much about Emily. I do call the nursery once a day just to check how she is. I don’t know if you are supposed to, or when you should stop calling? Am I one of ‘those’ mums ekkk?

All in all, my first few weeks back at work have been ok. It’s all about making moments count. I might not have as much time with her as I did, but now instead of being on my phone around her, I don’t look at my phone until she has gone to bed and at weekends I try not to look at it as much.

Like I said, it’s only been a few weeks. I will keep you updated how it goes.

SJ x

Dear Emily, Mummy is Going Back to Work…..

81BF769D-9A95-448B-B047-D0910CC3E220.jpegSo today is my last day of maternity. I have been so privileged to have had 13 months off with you. I only get statatory maternity and so originally mummy thought she could only afford 6-9 months, but thanks to your amazing hard working daddy and a lot of saving we made it happen.

I really hope you don’t think mummy went back to work because she didn’t want to spend time with you because that’s no true. Mummy wants to provide the best life possible for you, and to do that mummy needs to work.

2017 has been the hardest, most rewarding and amazing  year of my life. It makes me want to cry when I think of how proud I am of you. You have turned into an independent, calm yet fiery , funny little girl. There have been times over the last year where I wished this day to come when I get my independence back, but now it’s here I am a mixture of emotions. How am I going to cope all day away from my Emsie?

As I’m writing this I’m sitting in the reception area of your nursery where you’re having your settling in session. There have been no tears from either of us yet, but you’ve only been in nursery an hour and I’m in the same building!! Mummy looked round a lot of nurseries, and Horsham Nursery is perfect for you. Your key workers Maddie & Kim are amazing and you are already giving them big cuddles.

As a mum I think you always question whether you are making the right decision. Is it right to go back to work, especially full time time? Apparently only 25% of mums go back full time, with the majority going back part time. This certainly rings true with our friends, and I’m totally jealous of those mummies working part time.

Just remember little one that mummy loves you more than the world!

I’ll let you know how our first week goes next time!!!

Love Mummy xxx


Dear Emily (1 Year)

We are finally talking in years not months! Mummy set out to write you a diary for your first year and turn it into a book with photos and I’ve done it! Yay! It’s something you can read when you’re a bit older and I hope you enjoy it.

We decided to throw you a big 1st Birthday & Christening combined. Unfortunately you were a bit poorly and decided to be sick in the morning, but being who you are, you didn’t let that stop you. You were brilliant all day! You wore the dress both mummy & Nana wore when they were christened. You got sooo many presents you lucky thing, mummy is still writing the thank you cards.

Still no sign of walking, although you do walk with the walker now which is an improvement.  You will only do it though if mummy & daddy give you praise and encouragement (surprise surprise). You got a toy where you put balls in the top and it swirls round, you are so clever you picked up how to do it straight away. You even know how to open it up to get the balls out, it’s probably your favourite toy at the moment.

You are still loving your food, probably a little too much over Christmas. You are ate so much rubbish, not fed by me I’ll add (rest of the family). Oh and you hated meeting Father Christmas! You screamed the whole time!

You have also started Nursery this month but I’ll save that for the next post!

Until next time little one xx

Dear Emily, (11 months)

You are turning into such an amazing little person! You are so calm 80% of the time, unless you don’t get your own way. When you don’t get your own way, let the strops begin! You go from 0-100 in less than a second. I wonder who  you get that from???!! It’s nothing that a biscuit can’t fix though.

Your speech is really coming on. You now understand Ta, and say it all the time. You call mummy RaRa, I don’t know if that’s anything to do with the lion on CBeebies but I’ll take it. You say Dada, but I don’t think you know what you’re saying. You do things like high 5, you understand when we say clap your hands. You know bye and hi ya, you are really coming on.

No sign of walking yet though. You won’t even walk on the walker so think we have a way to go. Crawling it is!

Thats about it for now, not a great deal happening this month!

love you more than the world x

Dear Emily, (10 months)

1577D55C-DB1F-4B2C-97BD-A05AF3DC0BA1.jpegOmg, it’s been too long!! Life hasn’t spared me 5 minutes, but I’m back, so I’ll pick up from where I left off.

Only last month I was worried that you weren’t crawling and now you’re everywhere!! Not only crawling but standing up on furniture. You have hundreds of toys but of course you want things like, cups, pulling baby wipes out, remote control, my phone… You’re now babbling lots saying Dada, Baba and hi ya, but you don’t know what any of it means so I wouldn’t say it’s your first word, or do you? Everyone always seems to know their babies first word, but i’m not sure what I’m going to tell you. Which makes me question if Nanna lies to mummy about her first word. You are mastering things like waving and clapping and you understand when I say things like arms up, No, cuddles, hi & bye. Understanding & listening though are two very separate things.

Talking about understanding me and No. You have started biting and it really hurts. You caught me off guard and bit me and I shouted No. Your little lip started to wobble and you started crying. I felt so awful. You definitely understand tone of voice ekkk.

I can’t say we have mastered sleep yet as that changes on a nightly basis. It doesn’t help that you have a cold all the time. I’ve even bought the calpol night plug but I’m not sure it’s helped. This winter you’ve picked up so many bugs. It’s like a constant stream of snot from your nose… mmmmm ….

This month we went away for a weekend to Norwich. We stayed at the premier inn where it’s all you can eat breakfast. Before I knew it, I had 4 plates in front of me… They were all for you, you had a variety of food. Daddy made me look at what I’d got for you, and said I’m ‘one of those mums’ I instantly new what he meant… I give you far to much choice. I always thought I’d be the strict one but I’m not, I panda to you massively. You are now trying so many foods. You feed yourself for one meal (baby led).

Anyways that’s about it for now. Until next time little one x


Dear Emily, (9 months)

55112553-8F1A-4894-B049-A60CCCFF9F50You are crawling!!! Yay!! 25th September to be precise, so 9 months & 1 week. It’s funny mamma was worrying that you would never crawl but you seemed to do it around the average time. The first few weeks of you crawling you were quite sceptical of moving, you were very cautious (not anymore).

Now you’re crawling we’ve had to lower the cot down because you were pulling yourself up. Problem is mumma is so short I struggle to put you down in it. I think I might need to get a step, hopefully you won’t inherit mumma’s  short genes. Sleeping has regressed again, maybe it’s because you’re learning new things your brain can’t switch off. You are up every few hours, you’ve had a cold which has lasted a few weeks which doesn’t help. We always come up with an excuse of why you aren’t sleeping haha. You don’t even want to nap. Mamma stupidly thought you would have your nap and attempted to dye my hair, after about 15 minutes of starting applying it , you woke and screamed the house down. I was so torn of what to do. I ended up washing it out (I hadn’t even applied it all). I can’t tell you how stressed I was.

You still aren’t showing mamma much love. It was so funny at swimming, I passed you to the swim instructor as I got in the pool and you cuddled her and didn’t want to come back to me. Most babies are the opposite and don’t want to be passed to other people , but you really don’t care. Hopefully you’ll show me love soon.

You are really starting to get an amazing  personality. You aren’t afraid of anything, you even growl at dogs (family dogs not random) that come up to you in your face. You definitely show them who’s boss.

You know what ‘No’ is, but you weigh it up whether what you are doing is worth it. You are starting to understand what we mean when we are talking to you, you definitely understand cuddles. Still no words, only mumbling and bababa, but you’ll get there

Love you more than the world x